perhaps...

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a spider web in the corner of a water fountain at Kavanna House. 

My thoughts went to the amazingness of a spider's web and yet how delicate.  It can withstand a mighty wind, and forceful downpour, yet with the swipe of a broom it is gone in an instant. And that is only the beginning of the intricacies of a spider and it's web...

...for some reason this morning when I saw this picture I thought of Charlotte's Web.  As I was reading some quotes from this great children's movie, this one stood out to me....

“You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.”
― E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

Pondering this today: 

By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle...

choice

Yesterday's post and the many that I have posted recently have been inspired by the book, "one thousand gifts."

The question I asked myself yesterday, "Where do I see Beauty?" prompted my posts on Facebook. 

For me, paying attention is the beginning of awareness. Awareness opens the door for change.

Today I began the chapter, "seeing through the glass."

"Really....do I really smother my own joy because I believe anger achieves more than love? That Satan's way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my life than Jesus way? Why else get angry? Isn't it because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment  will pound me up into the full life I really want? When I choose--and it is a choice--to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness?"

Certainly anger has it's place. It's how I let it grab hold of me, allow it to guide me instead of working through it in a healthy way...then moving to the place knowing that love achieves way more than the lasting effects of anger.

?? the lasting effects of love...or...destroying effects of anger ??

 

evening beauty...

more beauty...

"What more, you may ask, do we want? 

Ah, but we want so much more--something the books on aesthetics take little notice of. But the poets and the mythologies know all about it. We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. 

We want something else which can hardly be put into words--

to be united with the beauty we see, 

to pass into it, 

to receive it into ourselves, 

to bathe in it, 

to become part of it." 

C.S. Lewis

Yes.

Is the longing for the Beauty the happiest place of all? Anne Voskamp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A question to carry today...

Where do I see Beauty?

beauty...

seeking Beauty 

with my camera

thru the lens

I am..

living in the present moment

right brained

I ask

"What do You want me to see?"

walking...listening...slowing...

with the lens

I look for Beauty

Beauty from my Creator God

penetrating my eye, moving instantaneously to my brain

then like a gentle wave washing over me

I have

contentment~joy~peace~awe...

through a blazing sunset or a glowing moon rise

~

from a leaf layered path or a trickling brook

~

in a sleek stallion or a mischievous squirrel

~

in the mystery of the ocean or the tranquility of the seashore~

~

and there is more, so much more.

Beauty...

 seeking beauty with the lens

escaping reality?

or 

absorbing the presence of God?

Either way, it fills me with a peace that passes understanding... 

Grab my camera fun....and some I forgot were there:-0!

Emptiness

“Yes. And emptiness itself can birth the fullness of grace because

 in emptiness we have the opportunity to turn to God, the only begetter of grace, 

and there find the fullness of joy.” Ann Voskamp

When I read this quote today, I was reminded of something that took place on Memorial Day weekend...

That day, I headed out with my camera. A Sunday full of photo taking. Lancaster County’s covered bridges and my hope of finding a water wheel to capture.  

The morning was full of glorious sunshine. While I drove along I began conversation with the Lord. I had been working through a lot of things. At times I speak out loud to Him, that day I did.

After sometime of talking to Him, I turned off the radio and waited.  What came next had never happened before and I am not sure that I can fully explain it. Actually, I am not sure how long it took me to recognize what was going on but as I drove along there was an emptiness that began in me. 

Each time I would pass a house or a church, actually any building, this emptiness would increase. After sometime of this occurring, I asked the Lord to take it away.  I did not like it. It continued. So, I took matters into my own hands and turned on the radio-songs, especially country songs, usually can shift me to a different place. That day it didn’t work, so off the radio went and I continued to drive-asking God what He wanted to show me.  I didn’t stop my photo taking, and I had some good moments but deep down this emptiness continued for about 4 hours. A lot of thoughts came to mind about what this emptiness was about. At some point after lunch, the feeling dissipated. 
 

Once, since then, a deeper emptiness came, it was worse than the first time.  It lasted many days. However, this time I did not ask the Lord to take it away-I knew it was necessary.

 

The quote above captures it to an extent. There was an emptying in me in order for God to fully fill me rather than all the other things that I put there.  I fully recognized the emptying was necessary. 

I certainly have not arrived and I have to pay attention to things that come my way, but at this moment in time, even though there is still “stuff” that takes place around me, there is a fullness of joy. This joy is equally as hard to explain as the emptiness. I like the joy MUCH better :)

How do you relate to the quote?  What does it stir in you? If you have had a similar experience, how do you journey differently than you had before?

Perspective

"All God makes is good. 

Can it be that, 

that which seems to oppose the will of God 

actually is used of Him to accomplish the will of God?"

I read this quote yesterday morning, and throughout the day it kept coming back to me. I have often thought about the will of God and if I am living it, doing it, ignoring it, rejecting it....and the list could go on...

However, these words give me a different perspective, especially when it comes to things I am having difficulty in understanding the "why" of something.

"That which is seems evil only seems so because of perspective, the way the eyes see shadows."

I am certainly not saying that sin or evil is good, but seeing something from a different perspective is certainly worth concidering.

"Perspective--how we see."

The weekend is almost here...throughout it, what would it be like to take a step back and consider a different perspective on something specific that is going on in your life?  A question for God might be, "How do you want me to see this situation differently?" Then pay attention to what happens next...

contemplating....grieving....life....

Rough Afternoon....

Although there are many others grieving to a greater extent than me, yesterday I spent most of the  afternoon and evening crying.

Many thoughts and questions went through my mind...these are random and deeply felt.  

As they came they ended up here...

Much is going through my mind about life. I see a picture of Tim and have deep sorrow and I weep for many reasons…. 

~I have lived 51 years. I have loved deeply, cared immensely, hoped for many things with great desire, yet lack the enormity of unconditional love that God gives…~

~There is a mystery when it comes to love. Love is hard to grasp and yet it can grasp me.  I hold it closely, yet I am afraid to hold on. Love hoped for brings joy, love lost is painful.~

~Love is certainly a mystery when it comes to God.  His love is never ending and full of grace and mercy… the human mind can not fully be conceived/received, yet it is desired from deep within the heart. How will I know it when I have love? Is it only in the moment when I truly have it and it is gone like the wind and then it's back again? Is that what living in the moment truly is? Is it filled with love? Loving fully without hindrance? Loving fully without judgment, loving fully without bringing up the past?~

^{~The most beautiful verse about love: 1 Corinthians 13~}

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails….

 that is the love I want to display and receive.

~It is safe to give love when there is no expectation of anything in return.~

~In family, unconditional love is "expected".  It is given and received because it is to be.~

~When a human life is taken unexpectedly… ripped away… it does not seem fair, love for that person is different-it can not be given in the way that it was.~

~I am challenged by the words "life isn't fair"-where did those words come from? I have found that in the "unfairness of life" there is much-how deeply will I engage in it?~

~Today, a new day, how will I live fully in it?