one of the things about love...

"That is one of the things about love, 

it always assumes it can find a way to express itself." Bob Goff

I read the quote above last week.... I have thought about it quite a bit.

     where in my life does love express itself?  

         have I always assumed I can find a way to express love?

               what does that practically look like?

                    how do I receive love expressed to me? 

                         what if I lived assuming I can find a way for love to express itself? 

                                then, what happens when I can't find a way to express love?

As I have processed these questions, what I know is some of the questions I have answers to, some will eventually unfold along the journey, and they might not always be given or received in the same way. But I am paying attention.

Last week was not the best of weeks for various reasons.  In my conversation with the Lord, my Constant Companion, I shared many things that were on my mind. Saturday He found a way (several ways) to express His love to me.

I was puppy sitting this weekend at someone's home I have been to several times. Because I have spent some significant time there, I had made a normal routine... chose the specific places I like to sit while eating or watching tv. The space I park my truck in and even what side of the bed to sleep on. But Saturday, I lived on the edge ;-), I chose to sit on the other side of the kitchen table for morning coffee and quiet time. Interestingly what transpired as a series of surprises-God finding a way to express love to me-I never would have experienced if I sat in my normal place! Wherever I look there is beautifully landscaped property and I wondered to myself, what will I see differently sitting on this side of the table?

Well, within a 1/2 hour something outside caught my eye. Turning quickly I saw the first surprise-a Hot Air Balloon! Immediately I grabbed my camera and headed outside, puppies following along! The thing is, just like hummingbirds and herons, Hot Air Balloons are just as much of a delight to me. Because I rode in one and my experience was wonderful, I know the feeling it's like when I see people riding in them. The best way I can describe it is the experience of hovering.

I followed the balloon until it was out of sight, then came back to continue my quiet time.  Just as I sat down, I look again and sure enough there are more-a total of 6 Hot Air Balloons!  I felt God's love-I was sitting in the right place at the right time and I had my camera-I was all smiles:)  If that weren't enough....when the pups and I went on our morning walk, what do I see but the very trucks holding the Hot Air Balloon cargo I had seen just a few hours before. More smiles.

About 10 minutes later, this truck and I "happened" to be at a stop sign at the same time. I spoke with them and told them I had some pictures if they would like them.  Got a business card and found out they were going up again in the evening!!  I was delighted and just kept thanking God for the many surprises that were in my day and felt Him expressing His love to me through them. 

Stop and Notice...

This summer I have been walking every day. I love to walk. I have a nifty app on my phone that tells me how far I have walked in how many minutes, how many calories I have burned and it even records it for me. I wanted something fancier, but it was free:) In the midst of my daily walks, besides making sure I didn't trip, I started noticing many beautiful flowers people display in their yards. It didn't take long for me to begin taking a 30 second break to capture the beauty I was seeing and of course posting it on Facebook.

What surprised me is people started looking forward to seeing "Today's Flower...". It became fun and a little bit of a challenge to find a different flower  each day.  There were times where I almost missed the one I captured that day.

Yesterday I took a different route. I was delighted that not too far in I found a new flower....after taking a few snaps though, a thought came, and so began a conversation with the Lord (no, not out loud ;-)...and although it's not an original thought, it is a great reminder. I began to wonder how many times I have walked past a normal everyday thing in my life, a flower, a sunset, a person, etc, and not taken notice of the beauty they hold?  With that, much more conversation took place about paying attention to the little or big things in life I generally just walk past.  So everyday, I am intentionally going to stop and notice something and look for the beauty it reveals. For me, the result is joy and gratitude.

I hope as you read this you will consider stopping and noticing something or someone that is in your everyday life God has given you, and I hope it brings a surprise:)

Continuing the ride....

At the end of May, I shared the thrilling roller coaster ride of life-specifically the unexpected end of employment and the birth of my precious granddaughter.

Today is the last day of June!  A lot of things have happened since that post. I am thoroughly enjoying being a Grammie and my granddaughter will be six weeks old tomorrow. Wow, time is flying!

I have struggled a lot concerning my employment situation.  I am not sure that I can fully explain the struggle, but it was difficult. There were places that seemed like closed doors with no way of opening them. When I applied for a job, there wasn't much I could or couldn't do to "guarantee" anything. In this place there was no control.  I am very grateful my friends and family were assuring me that I would be ok and they would help in any way they could. However, when the reality of not having a regular income sets in and one does not want to burden anyone, there is struggle-at least for me it is!

I was in constant conversation with the Lord. Continually I heard in my heart, "Trust Me" and although I told God I wanted to, it was very difficult. I recognized if I could have a radical dependence on him by surrendering, it would move my relationship with Him to a deeper level and I knew that would be peace. Thankfully after a period of time I was able get to the place of surrender.  A place where I turned my employment and my finances over to God and began to trust that no matter what happened He would take care of me in whatever way that looked like. Once I let go, I was even able to be at rest.

During that time I was paying attention to the gifts that were in the midst. I was able to enjoy helping my son and daughter-in-law in ways that I wouldn't have been able to if I were working.... I thoroughly enjoyed the many hours I spent just holding my newborn granddaughter...and then there was the place where I realized if I resisted or refused to let my dear friends or family help me, I was not allowing them to love me as God was asking them to-humph, that was showing me my pride and rebellion-ugh-that was hard to see in myself, but it was true.

On this side of things, there is much to celebrate. On my birthday I was sent the official offer for a position at the American Heart Association.  I am thrilled and thankful!!  Not just for my new job, but the extra time I was able to spend with my son's family, and for the new dependence and deeper relationship I have with God on the other side of the struggle.

Continuing the ride with Him beside me:)

Wall in the Garden….

A good friend took this picture. The moment I saw it I felt an invitation...

 to write....

On the garden path

I see simplistic beauty

And intricate charm

With a paced rhythm

My steps are deliberate

Taking in beauty

I smile at a sight

White flowers on a trellis

Moving close, I breathe

My senses delight

Fragrant aromas, eyes stare

Embracing splendor

Ahead an etched wall

Capturing my attention

In itself grandeur

History marks it

Aged with brokenness and scars

Seeing resilience

Flawed but lovely

Within it a work of art

A picture of life  

Turning at the gate

Pondering the path and life

A garden, a wall

On my mind and in my heart…..

Wow! This new role I have as a Grammie, is better than I ever imagined!

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mom and God gifted me with 3 children. I never gave thought to being a Grammie and now I am. Another gift:)

Each day for the first three days of her life I held my granddaughter, sometimes for several hours.  I was mesmerized at everything she did. Her little facial expressions, her grasping my finger with her tiny hand, the big stretches she would take and yes, her little cry is even precious to me.

When I am not with her, I have a treasure I am embracing.  In my mind, as I wake in the morning, I can see her tender face. Then throughout the day if I turn on my phone she is there, if I look at my desktop, she is there, if I sign into Facebook she is there too!

I began thinking about God’s great love toward us as those created in His image. I can only imagine what it must be like with God in relation to us.  He is always with us, so always on His mind and in His heart.  God’s love toward us is no match for the love that we have for each other, certainly His is far greater.  Over the years though, I have been gifted with what I will say is a taste of this love. Now, with my granddaughter, there is a beautiful new season of “on my mind and in my heart kind of love”. My heart is full :’)

Thrilling.....

Life certainly has it’s ups and downs. If I look at it as a roller coaster ride, I could say it’s thrilling-right?

For me, I have been on quite a ride of ups and downs and bends and curves lately.  I have gone from shock and my stomach sinking, to the pleasure of coasting with the joy of feeling like I am on cloud nine…

A week and a half ago, I was on coasting along and all of a sudden, I was headed straight down and that sinking feeling in my stomach was overwhelming by an unexpected life change in employment.

Thankfully the One operating the roller coaster not only knew where I would be at that moment in time, but was right alongside me in the midst of the shock.

By His grace and love and the gift of dear friends and family, I was able to remain secure as this change unfolded.

Although the ride seemed to continue downward, I moved my focus to the next hill upward.  What I didn’t know is that a great pleasure in my life would happen and a joy that is new to me took place. Again, God knew what was next.....seeing and holding my  precious newborn granddaughter one week later as she entered this world on May 20^th . Along with that seeing the absolute joy of my son and daughter-in-law as they delighted in the arrival of their new baby girl!

New life certainly has a way to change perspective on things.  A blessing and a gift has been given in this beautiful baby girl that is now part of our family.  I am thankful I am on the ride of life with all the excitement, thrills, bends and curves that come with it!  Although coasting seems to be easy, I know whatever is next I am going to trust in the One who knows if next is up, or down…..weeeeee!

Wildflower Walk

something new with my fine feathered friends...

Decided to take my love of photography and the great attraction I have to my fine feathered friends to the next level. I am listening to “Birds of PA” Audio CD in order to listen  and name the birds that sometimes I can’t even see with my lens.

While I was out for my walk today there were at least 6 or 7 different birds I could hear at one time.  I was excited when I was able to name the sound of a warbler!

While listening to the CD earlier this evening, I almost skipped listening to the raven, however just before I hit forward, this is what was told of the raven, “The raven is one of the bird world’s most intelligent birds, they have a complex communication system consisting of a wide variety of calls…..they communicate information such as the location of food, the presence of danger, or simply to keep in contact with each other.”  At that moment I remembered that the first bird that Noah sent out of the ark was a raven.  I had often wondered why a raven was sent and not the dove first….for me, I have a new understanding that I didn’t previously, Noah sent out an intelligent bird to check things out!!  Thinking I will try to capture a picture of this intelligent bird sometime soon!.

Looking forward to all God is going to show me about my fine feathered friends :)

Oh--wait-- my favorite football team are the Raven’s…well, what do you know!

Sunset...snow happenings and some other things....

march snow bird

Scary Close

I am halfway through Donald Miller's, Scary Close.  It is such a great book!  There are many intriguing quotes...here's one...

"So I wrote, I wrote as though God thought my voice mattered. I wrote because I believed a human story was beautiful, no matter how small the human was. I wrote because I didn't make myself, God did. And I wrote like He'd invited me to share my true "self" with the world."

Wow, these words are powerful, beautiful and true for each one of us!

Shortly after reading these words, I thought about replacing the word wrote with the word live then the word love...

So I live, I live as though God thinks my voice matters, I live because I believe a human story is beautiful, no matter how small the human is.  I live because I didn't make myself, God did.  And I live like He's invited me to share my true "self" with the world.

So I love, I love as though God thinks my voice matters, I love because I believe a human story is beautiful, no matter how small the human is.  I love because I didn't make myself, God did.  And I love like He's invited me to share my true "self" with the world.

How do you write, and live and love? 

Thank you Donald Miller for writing this book!!! Thank you God for so very much!!

remember....

Lately I have been going back through some of my journals from the last couple of years.  

As I look at my written thoughts, I am reminded of the questions I have asked the Lord, the struggles we've walked through, and what has taken place as we journeyed together~some beautiful and some-not so much.

Bondage and freedom have been words that have shown up often on those pages.... 

Once during quiet time, this came to mind..."Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom."
Another time I wrote, "I want to live securely in freedom"
Later, as I was struggling with letting go in a particular instance, these words came to me..."the ties that bind."
And yet another time, one of my favorite songs came to me, "Amazing Grace-my chains are gone".

I believe as I have been looking back and remembering, there is more that God wants to show me.

This morning I woke with this going through my head, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."

With that...today I have been reading and pondering Galatians 5. These are the words that stood out to me...the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love...Love your neighbor as yourself...So I say, walk by the Spirit...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I am thankful for what He is showing me as I think through these words and the connection they have with freedom.
 
What would it look like to live in freedom? How would it feel? In order to live in freedom what wouldn't it include? Sometimes it's easier to name what something isn't rather than what it is....

As I write this, today is Valentine's day-how's the conversation going with the One who loves you like no other?

Annapolis MD

what matters....

“You  know, some things don’t matter that much, Lily. Like the color of a house. How big is that in the overall scheme of life? But lifting a person’s heart-now, that matters. The whole problem with people is-

            “They don’t know what matters and what doesn’t, “ I said, filling in her sentence and feeling proud of myself for doing so.

            “I was gonna say, the problem is they know what matters, but they don’t choose it. You know how hard that is, Lily? I love May, but it was still so hard to choose Caribbean Pink.  The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.”

lifting a person's heart-now that matters....

*** 

choosing what matters... 

Since reading these two quotes in "The Secret Life of Bees," I have paid attention to them. For me, when my heart is lifted I know the good it does for my soul. 

And I recognize that I can't make anyone's heart lift, they need to be in a place to receive it. But when I think about it, choosing what matters can lead to an opening for a heart to be lifted: giving someone my undivided attention, listening, asking questions, speaking truth, even sharing my "duh" moments (and at my age I have many that I can share :-0!).

My prayer for myself and anyone that reads this post is the aim will be, to choose what matters...especially when it is hard.

How has someone lifted your heart recently? What would it look like to lift another's heart by choosing what matters?

 

His Presence....

"Come to me with a thankful heart so you can enjoy My presence."

Yesterday when I read these words in a devotional, I began to journal about them and something new came to me. I certainly know that the Lord is with me all the time, but I had not thought about the space or connection that happens when I am acknowledging my thankfulness. I had not thought about it being a place/space where I am enjoying His presence. Becoming aware of that makes a difference in me. Now, when I thank Him, I will have a different view of that space and time.

When someone thanks you for something, how do you respond? How does it make you feel?  As you think about that, what's your view of God's response to us when we are thanking Him?

Change and Trust

Words...

....words are very important to me.  When I think about putting words to 2014, change and trust would be two key words that would describe the year.  The more I reflect on those two words, I know for me to live a life that is full of change, moving to a place of trust, comes along with it. There were many changes in 2014 and trust did not come automatically....so saying those words and surrendering or accepting change are two different things. 

Throughout last year there began a shift in me--that being, when change was taking place all around me, instead of pushing it down, conforming or escaping in my mind to whatever would keep me from experiencing the reality of what was going on--pain or hurt or disappointment, I began to live in a place of freedom, expressing to God what was really going on inside...what angered me, what hurt me,what disappointed me--being authentic and expressive with God. This was a new place for me. A previous strong hold, was an assumption from teachings and experience, that if I really shared with Him how I was feeling, it would mean He would withdraw His love.

Much to my surprise, as I was authentic with Him, I did not feel a loss of love--as a matter of fact, one of the things that helped, was thinking about the people in scripture who were authentic with God--Jonah, Job, David, and Jacob and what their relationship was like with Him. Change was going on in their lives, they expressed themselves and there became places of trust.

The thing is, what I have known for all these years of being a follower of Christ is that I know that God already knows my heart and my thoughts, so what I expressed was no surprise to Him. It felt like being authentic and not holding back, made our relationship have a stronger bond.  At one point I even wondered, was that one of the reasons David was a man after God's own heart-he expressed himself to God without restraint of what was going on in his heart and mind? These things helped me to move to a new place of freedom in my relationship with God.

I am thankful for the change in me and that I feel the freedom to be authentic with God, I know that I know I will not loose His love. I trust that. And because I am being authentic with Him, that among other changes are flowing into the relationships I have with other people. 

When you think about changes in your life, how do you express yourself to God? What is your connection with God like during a time of change?  What would it take to shift you to a place of trust?