Change and Trust

Words...

....words are very important to me.  When I think about putting words to 2014, change and trust would be two key words that would describe the year.  The more I reflect on those two words, I know for me to live a life that is full of change, moving to a place of trust, comes along with it. There were many changes in 2014 and trust did not come automatically....so saying those words and surrendering or accepting change are two different things. 

Throughout last year there began a shift in me--that being, when change was taking place all around me, instead of pushing it down, conforming or escaping in my mind to whatever would keep me from experiencing the reality of what was going on--pain or hurt or disappointment, I began to live in a place of freedom, expressing to God what was really going on inside...what angered me, what hurt me,what disappointed me--being authentic and expressive with God. This was a new place for me. A previous strong hold, was an assumption from teachings and experience, that if I really shared with Him how I was feeling, it would mean He would withdraw His love.

Much to my surprise, as I was authentic with Him, I did not feel a loss of love--as a matter of fact, one of the things that helped, was thinking about the people in scripture who were authentic with God--Jonah, Job, David, and Jacob and what their relationship was like with Him. Change was going on in their lives, they expressed themselves and there became places of trust.

The thing is, what I have known for all these years of being a follower of Christ is that I know that God already knows my heart and my thoughts, so what I expressed was no surprise to Him. It felt like being authentic and not holding back, made our relationship have a stronger bond.  At one point I even wondered, was that one of the reasons David was a man after God's own heart-he expressed himself to God without restraint of what was going on in his heart and mind? These things helped me to move to a new place of freedom in my relationship with God.

I am thankful for the change in me and that I feel the freedom to be authentic with God, I know that I know I will not loose His love. I trust that. And because I am being authentic with Him, that among other changes are flowing into the relationships I have with other people. 

When you think about changes in your life, how do you express yourself to God? What is your connection with God like during a time of change?  What would it take to shift you to a place of trust?