more from Deuteronomy

"Love has no meaning unless it remains alive when the one you claim to love seems distant and unresponsive. If you love Me only when I immediately satisfy your desires, your love is merely one more form of self-centeredness. Your love becomes trust only when you choose to believe that I brought you out of something bad to bring you into something good before you experience that something good. Then your love is sustained by confidence in my character, not by enjoyment of current blessings."

For me, these few sentences can be summed up.... 'nough said.

Deuteronomy...Love Letter Five

As I continue to read and think about the books of the Old Testament, considering them Love Letters is somewhat  hard for me to wrap my brain around. However, a shift is taking place as I continue to read what is written by Dr. Crabb with a perspective from God...

"I brought you out to bring you in. You were locked in the prison of self-centeredness, just as Israel was in painful bondage to Egypt, where all they could think about was themselves--how can we get a better life, not how can we love God. I brought you out of prison to bring you into the freedom of love."

There is a lot to ponder in these words. 

"I brought you out to bring you in." When I think on these words, I recognize places in my life of the pain of what it is like to be on the "out".  Thinking about this, I can see that "outs" that take place, open a huge place for God to bring me in to Himself.....hard to say in the moment, but I am thankful.

I had not thought of self-centeredness as a prison, but reading these words open the space for me to realize just that. The words "the ties that bind" have gone through my mind in recent months.  Reading, "You were locked in the prison of self-centeredness," take me to those words again. I must agree, self-centeredness is a prison-a tie that binds.  I desire to live in the freedom of love, not in the prison of self-centeredness.
This song comes to mind considering all of this: Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin.

"...where all they could think about was themselves--how can we get a better life, not how can we love God." Wow, what if I could think less about myself/a better life and replaced it with how can I love God? I believe wholeheartedly that God created us to enjoy life.  I also know that a life that is enjoyable begins when I love God more than anything. This is a prayer of my heart.

Where have you been "out" and now looking back there was a space created to be brought in to the love of God?

What resonates in you when you think about self-centeredness as a prison?  What other prisons do you recognize yourself in?

What invitation do you sense from God in order to be in a place of freedom?

a few more from this morning's sunrise...

this morning for about 3 minutes, the sky looked like this....

I almost missed it....stunning Sunday morning sky!!!

Sunday Morning Walk...

Exodus and Leviticus

As I read more of the 66 Love Letters, I am intrigued by a few things I read concerning Exodus and Leviticus.

For me, relationship and story have always been important, so when I read the following quote, it resonated with me...

"...until you hear My message wrapped up in the stories of real people, 

you won't trust that My power could enter your story."

After reading this, I began to have a different view of Exodus and asked myself this question: "Would it make a difference if I read Exodus thinking about the stories of real people and the grace God gave them in order to move to a deeper place of trust in Him?" I must admit, I don't think there has been a time that I have looked at Exodus with a lens any different than, "sheeze this is long and I really can't get much out of it :(. "  I think with the previous question in mind when reading Exodus, things very well may change as I read.

Then in Leviticus...

"You must not try to fit me into your plans. Your plans are too small. "

As I read this, I was reminded of a very specific time during Advent last year when God clearly spoke to my heart.  It was not audible, but it was clearly His Spirit speaking to me.  As I was spending a significant amount of time thinking about what it would have been like for Mary when the angel came to visit her to tell her that she was going to be the mother of the Savior of the world, I began thinking about the many things that would have been going on in her mind. Yet, at the same time I knew after a few clarifying questions to the angel, she was completely trusting God even though she did not know what the future would hold.  As I considered Mary's unknown future and thinking of my own life with the things that were taking place, I heard in my spirit, "Celesa, do not envision a future." Those words were not without hope-but I knew that I had always envisioned a future for various reasons and because I did, it did not allow what God had in mind for me. That was my way, not His. Interestingly, nine months later, (not that I am perfect at it) but I have moved to a place where I do not envision a specific future.   I can certainly tell you that there is a tremendous amount of freedom in that and in the midst I have a deeper trust in God. (Know that this place did not come easily, nor with out a great amount of struggle and at times I thought that the struggle and the pain that came with it might not ever end.) Being in this place clears the way for God's plans to unfold.  I know that His plans are way better than mine.

Does anything speak to you in these two quotes?  What is your conversation with God like in the midst?  Is there space for you to trust Him differently than you have in the past-what would it take to be able to do that?

Love Letter One...Genesis

When someone writes from God's perspective, it opens up a lot in me~especially conversation with Him.  Sometimes I smile because I have wondered the same thing or even had a very similar thought. 

As I read how Dr. Crabb has written this book, I have had a lot of smiles and I am only at the beginning! Here are two quotes from Love Letter One...

"But I had a plan, I always do. I chose Abraham, just one ordinary, God-dishonoring man, to begin a whole new civilization...of course Abraham failed, like everyone, like you. That's why I told you not to fear failure. If you do, you'll live for success you can never achieve."

"And then it comes to Jacob. He was self-centered, manipulative, insecure mess from day one. Oh, he was resourceful, clever, and full of ambition, the kind of man who would have made it big in your world. But those talents were not what it takes to make it big in My story. So I went to work on him. I revealed myself seven times to Jacob to let him know he needed Me if his life was amount to anything. He's a good picture of how I change people, slowly, through problems in their lives and failures on their part and an infinite amount of patience and grace on My part."

"Read the story of Jacob and take heart: I can transform anyone into the likeness of My Son. But the process is never easy or short. It took nearly 150 years filled with terrible family problems to change Jacob into Israel, into a man who learned to trust me in the struggles of life."

When I read about these two examples, these thoughts come to mind...

• Yes, growth and transformation come through painful circumstances...

• I do not need to fear failure...

• I have hope about how long it might take this ordinary person to be transformed...and it's ok if it's a lifetime...

• It reminds me of God's great patience, His grace, His mercy, His tremendous love....

• He has a plan and a story~I want to live into it...

At the end of this first chapter, Dr. Crabb asks a lot of questions (to God) that are still very unclear to him about Genesis.  He ends with saying, "You told me to be honest. God I am not really all that warmed by Your first love letter...I think I need to read more. Thanks for listening." 

And then he writes a response from God that I would agree totally with, "I always listen. And I'll never turn away from you. Yes, keep reading."

...walking into today with a grateful heart for soooo much~what about you???

66 Love Letters

I am not sure exactly when I purchased this book, at least 2 years ago, probably more than that. Being a woman, the title certainly captured my attention. 

Over the past year, I have either seen this book on my book shelf when I dusted it or it has come to mind. Since it has come to mind quite often lately, I thought I should pay attention-today I decided it is time to begin reading it!  The prologue is already speaking to my heart.

Dr. Crabb speaks of the time when he and his wife (girlfriend at the time) would write love letters to each other while they were dating and how he learned to know her heart by reading her words. As he goes on, he relates this as well in knowing God's heart by reading His love letter to us-The Bible.

"I visualized each chapter as a love letter from God to me, His fickle friend, His cheating spouse, His spoiled child. He still wants me. He paid a huge price to get me. He has already found me. And now He is telling me the whole story of how I messed up our relationship and how He is putting it back together. And he's letting me know how it's all going to turn out. Every word in the Bible I could now see as a word of life."

I am anticipating how I might begin to know God's heart in a way that I haven't before.